the last few months have been a trip into hell, and i am just starting to get back...but i still bring with me...health issues.

Vertigo, on top of sleep apnea, with nuralgia where my muscles spasm and jerk, not to mention some kind of transient seisure thing, (which was like having the universe shift in a split second, like maybe changing dimensions instantly through an electro-magnetic barrier.

so i fell down a lot. i was very clumsy and dropped things, or even thought i had something in my hand that wasnt. i felt people touching me who were not there, and my eye-hand coordination was so off that i kept reaching short for a doorknob and seeing my hand pass through it like it shouldn't, but i swear it is right there,,,

and that was just the side effects of the meds they gave me, one in particular: clonazepam.

i read the fine-print finally and it's to keep seizues from happening. but everything i was experiencing was from the side-effects of that drug. sure i had sleep apnea very badly and it took them 2 months to get me a cpap machine, which was the trigger to everything else.

and yes, i fell down, a lot, or rolled off of bed or chair, but a few times just having no control over inertia as you start to move from a still poisition, and you get that feeling those who have experienced it knows that looking off the edge of a high cliff or building, down, down, ...you feel that pull to just go down. that is not dizziness (i have plenty of that anyway) but vertigo.

i could not resist that pull when in a half-awake/half-asleep, state of mind. so i ended up on the floor a lot, but not before hitting something, or many somethings, on the way down.

i have had multiple fractures, the worst was my right knee, which would more often be the first thing that hit the floor when i fell. i have had 3 black eyes...dozens of blows the head front and back.

my whole body at one point was totally covered with purple/red buises. like the fully tattooed man, and i oculd see shapes in it here and there...which reminded me of "The Illustrated Man" by Ray Bradbury. i have taken of me, which i understand are not allowed to be posted on DA. i have not really studied them yet myself, but metal staples, and scars, bruises over time...the changes the body goes through pretty damn quickly.,,when you think back on it in hindsight. but during the times of change it seem an eternity

i stopped going to the emergency room when i knew from going a few times and being treated and released in just a few hours, that they could not do anything more than make sure my lungs and heart were not the problem, and my lungs and heart are doing well as usual. a MRI of my brain after several times hitting my head, along with CT scan an xrays etc...


more later..