*sighs heavily*

Well, i knew that someday my CKD, chronic kidney disease, would catch up to me. there was a time some doctors should have known to do a bit more a few years ago, but didnt tell me until now i should have been taking a hormone by the time i was in stage 3. well i am in stage 5 now, which is the last...and the docs give me 3 to 6 months.

i only have one kidney to begin with, and it is only working at 10% or less. I do not qualify for the easy dialysis because of my previous major surgeries. I might go on Hemo-dialysis, which is the machine that takes out all your blood and washes it and puts it back in. But the kidney doc says it would be better if i could get my brother to give me a kidney first before i have to go on dialysis. if he doesnt, there is a waiting line of 3 years for a cadaver one.

They are not even sure if they can find a place to put another kidney with all the scar tissue of past surgeries. usually they put it down closer to the bladder, but that is a bad place for me. we will have to see after some tests.

anyway, needless to say, i am a bit scared...but i am trying to keep my spirits up, and after all, even though i'd love to see what happens to the world in the future, i still have to go sometime...